Have you dreamt about sleeping with someone besides your partner? Maybe you’re concerned that pregnancy will spoil your sex life. Dreaming about your grandparents? Pending fatherhood can make you think about your family’s roots. As a soon-to-be dad, your feelings of enthusiasm, anticipation, anxiety, and concern may open a floodgate of dreams.
Here’s something else your dreams may reveal: With all the attention centered on your wife and her bulging belly, you may feel left out. This is a typical reaction, said psychologist and dream expert Patricia Garfield. “Sharing your dreams and feelings during the pregnancy can help you both feel loved and needed,” she says.
To help you interpret what your dreams may be telling you, read the following excerpt from Garfield’s book Women’s Bodies, Women’s Dreams where three types of dreams from dads to be are described and their possible interpretations.
Throughout the first few months men with pregnant wives are likely to have many more sexual dreams than normal, according to an interesting study conducted by psychologist Alan Siegel in Berkeley, California: Early in their wives’ pregnancies, the fathers to be in his study dreamed of having sex with their wives, with other women, or prostitutes.
Siegel speculates that the defensive feelings a man develops toward his wife and unborn child may be threatening to his masculinity. His sexual dreams and other macho visions (such as triumphs on the football field) may be expressing a need to be more “masculine.” They offer reassurance.
At the same time he is having an abnormal number of sexual dreams, an expectant father often dreams of protecting and caring for his wife. The sexual dream theme generally drops out as the pregnant wife progresses into her second trimester.
Being left out:
During the second trimester, the expectant father’s dreams become less subject to sexuality and more protective and nurturing. He may find himself thinking and dreaming about the origin of his family. In other dreams, the expectant father may see himself as being pregnant and giving birth. Although he realizes this is his wife’s unique role to be the child bearer, this symbolizes his needs to share in the pregnancy experience.
Expectant fathers often feel neglected at this point of their wife’s pregnancy. More than half of subjects studied stated that they dreamed of being excluded and alone. Sharing your bothersome dreams with you wife can help you conquer your feelings of isolation and keep you and your partner in touch, while sharing their happy dreams can promote confidence and intimacy.
An expectant father anticipates the birth of a child in his dreams just as his pregnant wife does. Often fathers dream of finding babies or of babies being given them, sometimes during elaborate ceremonies or rites. While a woman may be dreaming of the work involved in her forthcoming labor, her mate may be focused on dream celebrations of the baby’s birth. Dreams of this type point to the acceptance and appreciation of the unborn child that is soon to come.
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